February 19, 2010

The waiting game.

This is a time frame also known as the ‘two week wait’. How cute, it’s alliterated. In this time period us women have to pretend that our bodies aren’t sending us signals which tricks us into thinking that we may be pregnant.

I often wondered how women have accidentally gotten pregnant, when there are so many symptoms out there. Here’s what they sound like: “oops I just realized I was a month late…” really?  Your boobs didn’t hurt when you moved, or you didn’t feel bloated, or nauseated or even tired?? The honest answer from these women? “No”.

When I embarked on this trip of trying to make new life and realized how many little symptoms our body produces just to warn us that our period is around the corner, it struck me as odd that these ‘oops women’ didn’t feel a thing. This is the power of thought at work, above and beyond anything else.

The more time I spend in the trying-to-get-pregnant group, the more my boobs hurt each month, the more times I feel sick or dizzy and the more often I just have that feeling of being pregnant.

My brain has betrayed me, time and time again.

After a longer than usual wait two months ago and a shorter than usual wait last month, all proving to be negative, I am slowly learning to ignore my body. I long to be out of touch with my body, to know less, to think less and to drink more.

Ignorance truly is bliss.



One Response to “Tricks.”

  1. Julie said

    I have been thinking the same thing this cycle. All of our symptoms can mean pregnancy or the flow. Why spend so much time and energy analyzing every twinge just to be let down. I too, have felt more and more “symptoms” last cycle (first IUI cycle) and it was still negative. This cycle, I want to think about other things in life! (and a drink would be nice too!)

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