Gramps… not just a name for your grandfather.

This is the time of month where I like to call myself gramps… a clever word combination of being grumpy and crampy. Yes, clever. I said it.

Your judging doesn’t scare me, not even bother me because I’m gramps, and I’m ready to fight.

It’s the grumpy side of gramps that I hate. Being the first real symptom of gramps, it makes me want to pull my hair (and the hair of those around me) out. This symptom is probably what everyone else around me hates the most too, because in my world grumpy never suffers in silence, while cramps always do.

The second stage of gramp-y-ness is little abdominal pains, sometimes called twinges. I hate the twinges, and what a ridiculous word. It’s a common one to be found on fertility sites as one of the early signs of pregnancy. Early signs of pregnancy range from feeling absolutely nothing to armpit and wrist pain. Is your nose blocked or are there extra veins on your legs? You’re probably pregnant (or coming down with a cold and varicose veins).

The final stage of gramp-y-ness is the bloat and the unrelenting desire to punch someone square in the face. I’m not violent the rest of the month, but when you combine my cramps and a bad mood, watch out. I am more likely than not going to insult, hurt or make you feel bad. If I am unable (or on the off-chance, unwilling) to do those things, chances are I will become the self-loather I always knew I could be.

Is this entry dark?

Good.

Feel the pain of gramps, God knows I do.

L*