April 18, 2011

I am here. I wished and hoped and prayed for this to happen to me. I am pregnant… yay!


I’m still nauseated, which is funny because the feeling is like a perpetual hangover, and I never drink. I’m 18 weeks and counting, I no longer can (or would) hold in this belly, cause it’s the real deal- and hard as rock. I have trouble sleeping and am a massive bitch, no apologies, I’m simply stating a fact.

The one thing about this whole ride that I knew was coming, because so many other women who have walked in your shoes tell you, is this issue of unsolicited advice. Holy shit- and everyone knows best.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t begrudge a single birth story, because I truly believe that they are badges of honour and every woman who has been cut open, split open or simply “popped out” a child- deserves the right to share their story- over and over. So thank you, to all of you ladies who have gone into explicit detail about your episiotomy or a c-section. Thank you for telling me about half-frozen epidural or ones that didn’t work at all. Thank you too, to those of you who swore that childbirth wasn’t as bad as some people make it our to be. All of your stories get me excited for my big day.

You know, the ones who really fall into this category are the ones who thrust their opinion at you, almost as if you asked for it. All you ladies that have had children know exactly what this feels like, in most cases you were the ones who warned me that this was coming. The funny thing is, those same women are imposing their opinions on me now. How soon we do forget.

I’d love for these women to remember what they felt like pregnant with their first child, how nervous they felt not knowing if things they felt, or didn’t feel were normal. I would love to know why the very same women who had dopplers of their own, would tell you not to get one.

As far as I’m concerned this should be a sisterhood, but what I’m finding is that, unless it’s your best friend, it’s a competition. An unhealthy one at that. I started this blog to share what it was like to want something that you have absolutely no control over, I wanted to educate the ignorant and reach out to others in the same shoes. I vowed to never forget what it was like to wait for 3 plus years for this little miracle.

As you read this, think about your little one, and then try to remember back to what it was like waiting for their arrival, not knowing what labour would feel like and being nervous. Then the next time a pregnant friend wants to talk- just listen and offer what she needs, not what you feel compelled to lay on her.

Did I mention that I was a bitch lately?