Final countdown.

September 14, 2011

Not just a song by Europe, but a great way to explain this waiting game that is the end of pregnancy. More importantly, and perhaps most obvious is the fact that this is the end of my wishing. I am about to embark on the being part of this story.

I am nervous, excited, petrified, humbled, ecstatic and not able to believe that I am here – all at once. I keep trying to picture what giving birth will be like, what my first contraction will feel like and how I will know the false labour from the beginning of the real labour. I have cleaned and re-cleaned my house, I have painted, scraped and replaced. I am finally at a point in my pregnancy where the birth is welcomed, a little more than it was last month as pain and discomfort override fear.

The most evident of all the things I am going through right now, as I classify them in my head that is: is the fact that I am here, I made it this whole scary way. And that I am in one piece. I have love in my heart and a belief that good things do come to those who wait. This journey has been more than an opportunity to learn patience. It has been the change in my life that I didn’t know I needed. I grew (and shrank) and then grew again (literally)- and found myself. I didn’t let statistics or other people’s experiences shape me, but rather set out to find what we needed to do, as a couple and what I needed to do for myself.

As we get ready to welcome our little baby, I can say with confidence I am ready. Not ready for the sleepless nights or the diaper changes, not ready for the inevitable scares when it comes to their health. But I am whole, and I worked for that.

This has been the best gift of my life so far, the journey has truly been the best part.

L*